I Have Tried to Speak Through the Soil in My Mouth

by Apostle

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    Screenprinted on Gildan 2400 Texas Orange/Yam. Artwork by Sasha Schilbrack-Cole. Design by Cameron Austin.
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Hull 02:01
Prise away limbs. Interrupting vascular structures. Cleaving membranes and deadening nerves. The soil it beckons to me. Encase my form (devour all). Digging deep a hole from whence I would fall. Nurturing are the hands that shape my extremities into uncommon shapes. Fixtures that mock components of nature, now mimicked by a personal frame. Taking root into barren dirt that hardens to rock as I decompose into dust. Leaving behind a subtle imprint that indicates that there was nothing left to give.
Cinder 01:11
Ashes smolder. Embers burning away a textured heap. Longing for embrace. And now I see clearly that the tinder to my fire had lifted itself with the pull of the now crisp air. I became jealous of it and its ability to drift aimlessly. Fleeting desires. Melting away. Becoming a fixture. Moral decay. Inside my head. Envelope my mind. Burning down. Burning throughout.
Tusk 02:56
Underneath celestial light is fear. A shadow longing to separate from the dirt. The vault of heaven asunder where the dusk and the age of man collide. Flawless symmetry in the way we tear ourselves apart. Burn the temple [and] behead the king, [for] I cannot unsee the failure in man. Buried beneath a mountain, I crawl until I reach the water. Pall of a pharaoh.
Lhotse 01:54 video
Frail peaks submit to my unrelenting grasp as I try to overcome their brittle edge. My hands sweat, through cold and stiff. Outstretched, my body sways turbulently. The cliff severs itself as if to mock my persistence. Sacrificing its clay horn to insult my effort. Shortening the time I have to curse its name. All the way down, yet still a mountain was the ground compared to my burden. Parallels seem so welcoming. Profanity is silenced by a grin. Relentlessness turned acceptance. Only to cease at the pinnacle of regret that I could never feel.
Vilomah 05:01
Loathe within, loathe without. Weep in silence. I've waited all my life. Drifting unto northern lights. Feral heart now beating docile. Sympathetic settings suns: lightyears apart, lightyears away. This is sorrow. This is separation (godspeed). This is failure. This is dying on a hill (godspeed). Euphoric, somber defeat as we howl into the dark. No sound. No light, yet Wild Eyes I'm burning into ash. I hear you howling. Wasting my years. A crown of thorns won't mend a broken heart. The vultures soar above me as I stare into the sun. The widow's grief is only healed by widow's bloodlust. You held my heart inside your hands, I'll hold you for eternity. [For Dmitri]


released April 2, 2021

Produced by Apostle

Recorded by Connor Ray at Sobek Sound in Atlanta, GA September through October 2020

Mixed by Kevin Bernsten at Developing Nations Recording Studio in Baltimore, MA November 2020

Mastered by Brad Boatwright at Audiosiege Mastering Studio in Portland, OR December 2020

Apostle is:
Murice White | Michael Thomas | Evan Price | Cameron Austin

All music and lyrics by Apostle

Additional Vocals and Synthesizers by Connor Ray

Photography by Susan Irais Reyes

Layout and Design by Cameron Austin


all rights reserved



Apostle Marietta, Georgia

Country & Western band from Marietta, GA.

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