So still near the gaping mire. Breathing so intently, I recollect upon chemical reactions that lead to mental callousness. Recalling facial numbness and entropy. Sighing at the prospect of a resolve that will never show its smile. Peace that will never turn its gaze and look my way. Regurgitating facts that I don't believe in. Dry heaving when I have nothing left, but to mumble to myself. An incomprehensible hole. An ulcer that aches so badly that the spittle on my lips dries from my mouth hanging open. I deserve this. I created it. It now lives in me, but our pulses are separate.
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